redbubblesbleed -Hi.
I know how that feels.
Just know that there are all sorts of experiences,
thoughts and feelings to be encountered in this life.
This too shall pass.
And what seems incomprehensible
or unimaginable from one perspective,
seems perfectly obvious from another.
Our minds enshroud and enlighten us.
We can spend years anticipating
and puzzling over supposed difficulties,
circuitously traversing molehills
(as if they were truly imposing mountains),
searching for the thing which will bring happiness, -
only to discover it in the smallest,
unlikeliest of places.
(It seems as if life only begins at that moment,
and the rest must just look like some absurd waste of time,
but "past is prologue";
and, every time we looked in the "wrong" places,
weren't we really being clued in?)
Or, perhaps, one day,
when we have grown tired and forgotten our search altogether,
suddenly, there we find ourselves,
surrounded by the fruits and artifacts
of our labors and travels,
enriched by, and grateful for, every one.
Not because they brought us answers, -
far from it! -
but because we've come to truly love the QUESTions,
and the part we've had to play,
not in conquering,
but enduring (never ceasing to confront, and be changed by) them.
Astrologically,...
There are so many combinations of factors
which would easily conduce an experience
like the one you described.
Lack of earth in the chart, w/ lots of air and fire,
can create a sense of alienation from the body
(particularly on the 1st and 2nd houses).
Water can make that alienation
a cause for genuine anguish.
Challenging aspects to (or from) the planets
that rule the 8th and/or 12th house(s),
or planets located in those houses.
Perhaps even a trine aspect,
as it could conceivably make the energy
flow so freely, that it is not easily
contained within the body.
ANY close aspect(s) involving ANY of the outer planets,
especially if there is already an indicated predisposition.
Neptune Square Mars sounds accurate.
What houses do they rule in your chart?
Remember, the transiting aspect is only close
for one or two, maybe three weeks at a time.
This happens only two or three times,
but over the course of several months.
Astro.com says it lasts the whole time,
but most of that is just the planet retrograding.
take good care,
hsc
------------------
Truth - covered in security
I can't let you smother me
I'd Like to, but it couldn't work
Trading off and taking turns
Don't regret a thing
And I've got this friend, you see
Who makes me feel
And I wanted more than I could steal
I'll arrest myself, I'll wear a shield
I'll go outta my way to prove I still
Smell her on you
Don't tell me what I wanna hear
Afraid of never knowing fear
Experience anything you need
I'll keep fighting jealousy
'til it's f--king gone
And I've got this friend, you see
Who makes me feel
And I wanted more than I could steal
I'll arrest myself, I'll wear a shield
I'll go outta my way to prove I still
Smell her on you
Truth - covered in security
I can't let you smother me
Like to but it couldn't work
Trading off and taking turns
Don't regret a thing!!!!
And I've got this friend, you see
Who makes me feel
And I wanted more than I could steal
I'll arrest myself, I'll wear a shield
I'll go outta my way to make you a deal
We've made a pact
to learn from whomever we want
without new rules
We'll share what's lost
and what we grew
They'll go out of their way
To prove they still
Smell her on you...
Smell her on you....
Smell her on you.....
- Kurt Cobain